assertive in the workplace

Simple steps to be assertive and in control in the workplace.

Let’s face it there’s time where we have all left work and kicked ourselves for not speaking up and letting something slide. From personal experience that has lead to more and more little things creeping in that I don’t agree with. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Being consistently assertive (and that doesn’t mean pushy/bossy or any other sexist analogy) we can make our work life that little bit happier.

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a learnable skill and mode of communication.

Value Yourself.

To build the power of being assertive you need to truly value yourself. Sit and write a list of everything that you alone bring to the table. See how your work makes a difference and embrace that. Knowing your worth is key when building confidence and becoming assertive. Understanding that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect with give you the self belief to demand that from others.

Say what you want.

Expressing your wants and desires is the easiest step to becoming more assertive. When you’re an employee and not one of the big bosses you can sometimes feel like just a number. But remember you are there for a reason and your voice matters. So whether it’s to your colleagues or boss say how you feel. Speaking openly, honestly and calmly is a power in itself.

Say no when you need to.

Knowing when to trust your gut and say no is a big must from me. I have ignored that for years and become so unhappy in jobs and at home. But sometimes someone’s easy going personality or willingness to be a team player can be taken advantage of. So if you feel like it’s crossing a line express that as clearly and calmly as possible. The positive No shows that your Yes has meaning. It shows you know who you are and what you stand for.

Say nothing at all.

Listening is an incredible power that not a lot of us really use to its advantage. It gives you more information and information is power don’t forget. Listening can be a fantastic tool at work and dealing with potentially difficult people. By listening rather than jumping in with an answer right away can really give you the time to fully understand. And create your answer which will be calm, collected and informed.

Be gracious

Taking positive and negative feedback graciously is a skill and one that your assertive self has. Expressing if you don’t agree with said criticisms in a relaxed non confrontational manner is the way to push past your emotional reactions and remain professional. This can also help the way your perceive criticisms in general as you will feel less negative and be able to move on and process quicker.

Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about your wants and needs, while still considering the rights, needs and wants of others. When you’re assertive, you are self assured and draw power from this to get your point across firmly, fairly and with empathy.

If confidence and self believe if something you struggle with then check out my post about self-care and how important it is. If you have any other tips on how to be assertive leave me a comment below 🙂