Figuring out how to overcome rejection and failure!
Rejection and failure…terms most of us are very familiar with. As an actor this is something we are supposed to take and brush off as easy as a compliment but it isn’t always that easy. All of us have faced rejection and what we think as failures in our careers and somehow we manage to pick ourselves and try again. That’s because, in my opinion, both these things are a matter of perspective. And we can choose to invest in what we think are big stinking failures or we can take what we can from the experience no matter how rubbish it is and move on.
My most recent experience facing a room of rejection…
Instead of just spouting a load of advice I’m going to tell you about a recent experience which left me almost broken.
I paid to sing in front of a room of experienced individuals in the industry, 1 of the main reason was to tackle my nerves in these situations. After performing my 2 songs which I thought went quite well (thats an achievement in itself haha) I chatted with the people in the room. The point of this was to get feedback and constructive criticism so I could go away and work on things. Unfortunately for me things took a bit of a different turn when the constructive part was throw out the window. In not so many words I was told that in their opinion there wasn’t really a place for me in the industry and my voice and lack of confidence were a big issue. I was a bit crushed to put it mildly.
I left the building in tears thinking, very dramatically, that my career was over. But then I got the reality check from my support network (my parents and fiancé who need a medal) that the opinion of those people was just that, their opinion. And my career wasn’t even close to over, if anything it’s in the best place it’s ever been. So why I am crying in the shower (what can I say I’m very emotional) when there’s nothing to cry about. I hadn’t failed I just wasn’t those peoples cup of tea. And thats life lets be honest.
I realised I needed to believe in my own worth and not be so quick to jump on the band wagon and throw it away. Because if I’m not going to be my own champion why should a complete stranger. I think that experience was the thing that finally opened my eyes to what rejection really is. And the way I’ve always felt and dealt with it hasn’t served me or my confidence very well for all these years. I’ve actually started to feel empowered by realising what I have to offer and that not everyone is going to like or want it, and thats ok. Cause I’m choosey too. Changing the way I look at it and react means rejection can be a great learning experience and I genuinely mean that. Yes I could have done without the tears but the lesson was worth it.
I hope talking about this from a real expereince is helpful and something you guys can relate too. I have talked a lot about my struggle with my confidence and how I have just started seeing a life coach (which I’m loving). I’ve linked the post in case this is something you might be interested in.
How do you feel about rejections and failures within your career? Is it something people talk about enough? Let me know what you think 🙂 And as always, Thanks for reading xx
Photography by Michaela Efford