Who Knew Confidence could be your secret weapon!
Maybe I’m a bit late to the party on this one so apologies if you’ve already got this all figured out. I bombarded you guys with a rather dramatic post last week “what am I doing with my life?” As I was feeling a little overwhelmed with everything. *I don’t know why I always have to be so emo about everything.* After said post I had a bit of a revelation, that I have zero confidence in my own ability. And it turns out trusting yourself is quite a big deal.
I have a big issue with nerves when it comes to auditions or that kind of environment. My nerves really do get the better of me and I find it hard to even interact normally. I feel like I become a kind of shell of myself and I know I’m doing it but I can’t stop. As I said in my last post I have started going to this musical theatre workshop and last week I really let my nerves take over. And there’s not really any need, the reason I’m going is to improve and learn but I’m so worried about whats going to come out of my mouth that I can’t think of anything else. And I realised I don’t in anyway trust myself.
Throughout all my childhood and teenage years my poor mother has had to battle with me and my confidence. I have always come across as really outgoing and self assured and I am in many ways. But when it comes to my ability and talent I have little to no confidence. The doubt and constant worry wrecks my self esteem and makes me kind of a nightmare to be around sometimes. *Sorry about that.* I can get on stage and feel completely at home but it’s all the things that lead up to that, that are actually really unnecessary and just make me feel rubbish. And I’m doing it to myself.
After last weeks lesson and sitting and analyzing it all, I came to the conclusion *with the help of my boyfriend* that I am the only thing holding myself back. And let me tell you I don’t want to be the reason I’m unhappy, so I need to bloody stop! I honestly never thought I was the problem or the way I thought was the problem. And to quote Shrek (my fave) “Ogres are like onions, we both have layers!” Well I’m totally with him on that but I think my layers have been stress, anxiety, negativity and now I’m down to maybe the root cause of it CONFIDENCE.
So could I actually be my own secret weapon…could we all? *well duh of course.* If I just cut the crap and started to believe in myself I might not screw myself over in an audition by acting like someone with no personality and not much talent. Number 1 I need to stop comparing myself to everyone else, the things I don’t have, the things I need to do. I need to, for once, praise myself on the things I have achieved and the things that I have to offer. And I need to actually hear it when someone gives me a compliment. Because I’m very British when it comes to compliment receiving! But I’m going to try, no, I’m just going to do it! All of it, banish those negative voices and be confident.
I found a great Blog with some top confidence tips its called Lifehack! What helps you feel confident?